Recently, our region was buffeted by a cyclone. Thankfully, the damage was minimal this time—but it was stressful nonetheless.
This morning, as my neurodivergent husband was heading out the front door, I heard him say, “The pot plant has fallen over.”
I went to look. There he was, standing in front of a large, broken pot plant—soil and shattered pottery scattered across the porch, clearly a casualty of the wild winds overnight.
And what did he do?
He said goodbye… and left for work.
I’ve been reflecting on this all morning. The challenge for me is recognising that there was no malice or bad intent. What can look like thoughtless or oblivious behaviour often comes down to an empathy gap—he simply doesn’t register that someone (me) will need to clean up the mess, repot the plant, and carry on.
But in that moment, what I felt was abandonment—and a deep sense of aloneness.
It seems like such a small thing. Yet when moments like this are repeated over years, they accumulate. In the context of a lifetime, they become significant.
There was no offer to help, no acknowledgement that the task would fall to me—just a move on to the next thing.
Experiences like this are common in neurodiverse relationships. They highlight how differences in brain wiring can so easily lead to misunderstanding. When we don’t understand what’s driving the behaviour, it’s easy to fall into judgment, anger, or resentment.
But understanding doesn’t mean dismissing the impact.
Understanding the “why” behind the behaviour matters—but so does acknowledging the impact. Both can be true at the same time.
And this is where the real work begins.
Learning to communicate needs clearly.
Creating shared awareness around everyday responsibilities.
Finding ways to support your own emotional wellbeing, even when your partner’s capacity looks different to yours.
Because living in a neurodiverse relationship isn’t about blame—it’s about building tools, awareness, and resilience on both sides.
If you’re navigating similar moments in your own relationship, you’re not alone. This work can feel heavy—but with the right support and simple, practical strategies, it can also become more manageable.
I share natural wellness tools and approaches that support emotional balance, nervous system regulation, and day-to-day resilience—especially for women carrying a lot. If that’s something you’re needing right now, you’re welcome to reach out or follow along for more.